Tuesday 14th March
I used to fantasise about my suicide,
I felt the existence of my entire entity,
My very being a sham.
I wrote poems as a teenager
full of angst and pain.
I did not trust life,
I felt that I did not belong here.
This life was not mine.
I saw pain and suffering,
I felt un loved and alone.
I was not good enough.
I was always late,
I was too loud, gave too much away.
I didn't do a proper job
always more and always messy.
Seeking approval constantly
Hiding behind a curtain of hair.
My shyness appearing to others
As self confidence.
Jealous of others.
I was truly unhappy.
I truly felt alone.
